The Banana Thief

Posted: 29/11/2025

A sad reality of owning a business is I’ve been robbed more times than I can count… but this story takes the cake. Well… the banana. 🍌❤️

So I found this old clip the other day. Some bloke had smashed my glass sliding door to break in and did such a professional job of it that he couldn’t actually get back out. Genius.

Meanwhile, I’d been working late in Hobart and started the drive home absolutely wrecked. Needed fuel. Needed sleep. So I pulled into Mood Food, had a glorious 20 minute nap… and woke up feeling like a new man. A new man who completely forgot he still needed fuel. I hit the road and the kilometres start ticking by. It’s 1am. Every servo between Hobart and Launceston is basically a graveyard. I get to Campbell Town. No self serve.

Dash says empty. Range says 0. My soul says panic.

I limp into Epping Forest. Nothing. Now I’m praying Perth has self serve. By some miracle I roll into Perth servo with the car coughing, spluttering and begging for retirement. They have self serve. I walk up to the pump… OUT OF ORDER.

Suddenly the heroic 100km fuel free endurance run doesn’t feel quite so impressive. So I make the call of shame at 230am. My partner, absolute superhero, jumps the back fence at Dudes in Invermay, grabs a jerry can, hits Davies and comes to rescue my dumb arse on the highway. 😂

I’m fuelled, grateful, ready for bed. I swing through Maccas drive thru for a victory snack… “We’re closed for an hour.” Of course you are. Why wouldn’t you be. 😂😑

Finally get home. Crawl into bed. It’s heaven. Then my phone goes off. Motion alert from the ONE crappy 40 dollar security camera I’d installed a few days earlier.

There’s some bloke wandering around my shop. I fly down there. He’s already gone, but the place looks like a crime scene from CSI Launceston. Smashed door, blood everywhere, absolute chaos. His massive haul A handful of 20c pieces from the tip jar… and one banana.

Police rock up, watch the footage, and know exactly who it is. Turns out he’d been released from prison only days before. All that damage… for a banana